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The Chronicles of "Bleibrix"


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dan_can #21 Posted 04 September 2016 - 06:25 AM

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I lol'ed multiple times reading this, and jakub trying to justify his ingame behaviour is just the icing on the cake.

"The meaning of victory is not to merely defeat your enemy but to destroy him, to completely eradicate him from living memory, to leave no remnant of his endeavours, to crush his achievement and remove all record of his very existence. From that defeat there is no recovery. That is the meaning of victory."

  Lord Commander Solar Macharius

 

Death from AboveYoutube Channel


Eil_Zustellung #22 Posted 05 September 2016 - 12:03 AM

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Today my brand new car broke while driving. First ticket to WG.

While waiting for help it started to rain. I got soaking wet. Next ticket to WG.

It took me 4 extra hours to sort this crap out and get back home. Another ticket to WG.

While waiting for help in the rain I heard on the radio Italy had a bright and sunny day.

WTF...? Italy is using a sunshine-mod. That's cheating...!!!

So I wrote another ticket to WG. And right after that I reported Italy for cheating with sunshine-mod. 

When I finally got home WG support answered they are not responsible for my car nor the weather in my country...

 

Are they for real?

 

I invented planes and this game. I know there is some cars on some maps to be seen in this game. Next ticket.

WoWP is my real-life so I asked WG to assure my car never ever brakes down again. Plus I made another ticket for them to assure my plane never ever will brake down or could be destroyed by another player.

 

This time I made photos of the rain and attached them to the tickets.

They can't fool me this time.

 



kristermann #23 Posted 05 September 2016 - 01:29 PM

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Great stuff! Now this is my kind of topic :trollface:



jakub_czyli_ja #24 Posted 05 September 2016 - 02:06 PM

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You forgot to rant/report Hryunmod.

Clear cache/Skasuj cache: cmd /K del /Q /F /S "%TEMP%\wargaming.net\wowp\cache"

 

And everything else/i wszystko inne: cmd /K del /Q /F /S "%APPDATA%\Wargaming.net\World of Warplanes"


Eil_Zustellung #25 Posted 09 September 2016 - 12:12 AM

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Humans, especially the "normal" people might get angry from time to time.

But I am Bleibrix. I am GOD and Inventor of planes and this game!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I do not get angry. I do not swear. I do not exaggerate.

I am simply GOD.

 

Today I killed 2 planes (did I mention I invented this game?) and the other side killed more planes than me. First report.

WTF...? They can't be serious. This is like blasphemy towards GOD, meaning towards me. Next report.

I, ME, GOD, Inventor... I lost the game...can you believe this? No. Impossible!!! Next report.

 

So I wrote a ticket to WG, asking them to program an instant win for me if I get 1 or 2 kills.

They answered the one with the most kills should win, so they won't do that. Report for wrong answer...

 

After that I sent them some Screenies, showing I lost being a TIER lower than the red side. Another report, of course.

They answered being Low-Tier happens to all of the players in WoWP from time to time.

But they can't fool me. When I play in the middle of the night taking my best plane to rape the Newbies I am ALWAYS High-Tier. NEXT report.

 

Being GOD and not ever using foul words, I told the MoFo's to fu.. off. Another report...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Eil_Zustellung #26 Posted 12 September 2016 - 01:37 AM

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I am Bleibrix. I am GOD.

 

On the first day I created the world. On the second day I called it Earth.

On the third day I created animals. On the fourth day I created Adam and Eve.

The fifth day I invented planes. The sixth day I invented WoWP.

 

Being happy with myself, on the seventh day I called out to the newly created world: "Let sunday be praised to be my pizza day.!"

 

But it all went wrong...

 

My pizza was late for more than 30 minutes. First report to WG for LAG...

The pizza boy told me, he couldn't find my address. Next report to WG for wrong map...

Then he told me twice he couldn't change my big bill. Next report to WG for wrong matchmaking...

Ate the pizza and it was good. Mmmh, makes me think. Next report to WG just to make sure...

It was really tasty but had the wrong cheese on it. Next report to WG for cheating.



Eil_Zustellung #27 Posted 13 September 2016 - 11:50 PM

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Today is a quickie to be told.

 

- I played. And lost - first report to WG

- I played once more. And lost againg. - next report to WG

- 3rd game I played I had 4 kills. But I wanted an ace medal. - next report to WG

- Wrote a ticket to WG making clear, I want all extra medals and tokens when I have 4 kills (C'mon... I am inventor of this game, did I mention this?). - next report to WG

- They answered tokens and medals are given for specific achievements. Not just for 4 kills. Are the trying to have me on...lol?

 

I am Bleibrix. I am God.

It is impossible anybody ever had 4 kills except me in this game I invented.

So I had to...

- report WG for bad MM

- wrong map

- being low-tier

- not being addressed as GOD every time I play

- other players being able to shoot me down (extra report for those MoFo's)

- not winning every game

 

They told me I should take my medicine and not flood their support with tickets.

 

I have a replay of taking my medicine. I will load it up.

But wait... The warden takes me back to my cell...

Damn...



_MrPig_ #28 Posted 14 September 2016 - 07:04 AM

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I would love to watch these chronicles on TV, especially the last part.

Eil_Zustellung #29 Posted 16 September 2016 - 10:21 PM

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The wardens dragged me back to my cell. It was 4 of them and my team didn't help... - first report to WG for unfair gameplay

While I was still nailed down to the floor by those 4 wardens a psycho-doctor came and injected a needle into my arm  - next report for bad matchmaking as I didn't see the doctor before I felt that f....ng needle in my arm

 

My spit was drooling off my mouth and my thoughts went all over the place... next report to WG for no f....ng help whatssoever

 

I know the doctor told me to take the red pills first and the blue and orange ones just after. I did. But the voices in my head just won't go away. F... you. Report for bad sound in game.

 

So while I was spitting on myself, struggling to get away from these WoWP-monsters I realised I was still in my straitjacket locked up in the funny farm. Report, report and report to WG for wrong map...

 

 

 



Eil_Zustellung #30 Posted 17 September 2016 - 09:23 PM

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I'm still tied in my straitjacket, so I have to type all this using a pencil with my mouth.

The doctor said I would get new pills tomorrow for better treatment. I will get the big green pills.

Muaahahaa... As soon as I get those green chemical bombs in my head I will start opening the lock of my cell with my tongue.

Once I'm freed from my dungeon the world will be my oyster.

 

Tomorrow I will reign the world again. I already hear my slaves and inferios vowing my name.

At first it was like a soft touch on my ears. Like a gentle breeze stroking my head.

But every wave of fresh air is louder, makes the message clearer.

 

The masses of people chant this one only name.

They are calling out for it.

They demand: Bleibrix..., Bleibrix..., Bleibrix

 

Damn... can't wait for that big green pill...



HansGriger #31 Posted 18 September 2016 - 10:12 PM

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Video shows some strafing bombing and "dogfighting" nothing really special but for those who dont have it here you can see a bit how it shoots and moves around the sky.  

(some would say though that this video is taken from the Chronicles of Bleibrix but  that isnt the case  (or is it :ohmy:)  the bot quality and the music is kinda suggestive hmm:rolleyes:;)


Edited by HansGriger, 18 September 2016 - 10:13 PM.


Eil_Zustellung #32 Posted 18 September 2016 - 11:04 PM

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Muuaahaha...Muuaahaha...

 

Those Mofos really gave me that big green pill today. Muuaahaha...

 

They locked me up again. But I had a plan.

 

Still wearing my straightjacket I remembered those Irish dancers from that Riverdance-Show always solving all problems by simply dancing.

So I danced. And I danced a little more. Those voices in my head wouldn't go away but I just danced on.

And finally... I lost my straightjacket by dancing so hard.

Muuaahaha... It took me only a few bleeding teeth to unlock my celldoor.

 

I went directly towards the medicine cabinet and grabbed all green pills I could find.
Of course I took 2 or 3 more right away... Yummy... And I fled from that psychiatric clinic.

Muuaahaha...

 

The voices in my head (did I ever mention them?). I needed to take more of those green pills.

 

Out on the street, not knowing where or what town I was in, I had to steal an ice cream from a 5-year-old kid.

I yelled at the kid to f...ing cry quietly. Everybody knows that the big green pills go best with some ice cream. Stupid kid. Stupid parents.

So I robbed the mothers purse. Next to lipstick (which I will use later on) I found a few coins. YES!!!

Muuaahaha... World domination is close...

 

Found a shop with internet. Showed the owner my bleeding teeth and told him I was GOD. 

This fu..er goes like "Who?"

Me like "I am Bleibrix. I am GOD!"

He ran to the toilets to lock himself in there. He looked scared.

But I know he wasn't afraid. He just ran like hell as this happens first time meeting god. Meeting me. The Bleibrix.

 

So I was clear to use the internet again. World supremacy here I come. Muuaahaha... Muuaahaha...

 

First thing I see on internet (which I invented, did I mention before?) on the forums of WoWP (which I invented also) is a link to a video not even working.

 

Boy... This world really needs more of the one and only Bleibrix.

 

Let me take some more big green pills first and then I will doom you all.

Or maybe later...or tomorrow... or I'll ask WG-support to do so.

My spit is running down my chin. I get all sleepy. But I am GOD.

And I will.. sleep now.

 

 

 



Eil_Zustellung #33 Posted 19 September 2016 - 10:16 PM

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I am THE Bleibrix. I am your GOD.

 

After almost drowning in my drool last night I still had a few coins left.

So I went back to that internet-cafe and logged into to the game.

 

Muuaahaha...

 

First thing of course was to report. Goes without saying really.

- WG is my life but they didn't help me with my mental problems - report

- WG didn't provide decent air support when I broke out of that clinic - report

- WG sent light fighters when I asked for Heavy and Groundattackers - report

- WG gave me free premium time with tokens when I wanted red pills - report

- WG NEVER gave me one of those green pills but they are ever so yummy - report

 

Muuaahaha...

 

I am back reporting. Gosh, it feels ever so good.

Next I will report YOU!!!

 

Muuaahaha...

 



ralle501 #34 Posted 21 September 2016 - 09:31 AM

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Muuaahaha..., Muuaahaha...

Easy Driver´s Flying Circus
IMMER VON OBEN NACH UNTEN


Hertzsch #35 Posted 21 September 2016 - 09:35 AM

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Loooool.....

SandmanX #36 Posted 21 September 2016 - 12:01 PM

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Pls wrote something of 2x heavy T10 flight in multiples games in a row at 2 AM when there were below 200 players online, will ya?
./ts3server_startscript.sh status
Server seems to have died

Shiafa #37 Posted 21 September 2016 - 02:40 PM

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An error occurred

You have reached your quota of positive votes for the day

 

wonder if that qualifies for a report?

 

BEST new Thread for long, thx :bajan:



Eil_Zustellung #38 Posted 22 September 2016 - 05:46 AM

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I am The Bleibrix. I am GOD. Your GOD... The Bleibrix.

 

My subordinates, inferiors... or how I like to call them: my SLAVES

praise me.

 

They praise me good. Right so. As I am GOD. I am the one only, I am The Bleibrix.

 

When I play in the middle of the night of course I take OP-planes. OP-planes and newbies on the other side is the only way I can play.

Even though I invented planes and shortly after WoWP.

A very "sad man" once told me ingame I use OP-planes. Funny thing was, I was in the same plane this sad man and his friend was. 2 vs. 1. All same plane.

I was alone. But I am The Bleibrix. So I shot them down. They didn't like it.

 

Today one of those Mofo-bots shot me down. - report for teamkilling

I lost the game. Me. The Bleibrix. GOD. - report for blasphemy

A stupid newbie played better than me. - report for playing better than god

I wanted all medals but got none. - report for wrong matchmaking

Felt cold today still got a winter map. - report for wrong map

I fell asleep and had zero FPS during sleep. - report for bad programming

 

I really have to do open 75 more threads to tell you every single moment in my life.

You, my slaves..., you are so much cheaper than my psychiatrist.

 

Where is my bag of big green pills?

 

Edit:

Just found it...Yummy...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Edited by Eil_Zustellung, 22 September 2016 - 05:49 AM.


Eil_Zustellung #39 Posted 25 September 2016 - 03:08 AM

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The green pills really do it for me... Yummy... BUT, don't ever try this at home unless you are next to me locked in a funny farm...

I can cope. I am The Bleibrix. I am your GOD.

 

After creating earth, inventing planes and WoWP just after I really had to tell some MoFo's not to use GA's... Can you believe this?

 

Me, The Bleibrix, your GOD, had to tell infidels NOT to use the GOD-plane unless they are GOD...

But I am the one an only, I am The Bleibrix... So why the heck are they even trying to use my GOD-Planes?

 

Of course I had to report all those MoFo's...

 

- report for using my GOD-plane

- report for NOT being GOD

- report for playing different

- report for playing better

- report for not providing my medicine... My beloved green pills...

 

 

 



BigBadVuk #40 Posted 25 September 2016 - 03:41 AM

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Closed.

 

 

 

 





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